In 2009,  I pledged to the Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority. We left campus for an entire weekend for the initiation process. We went through org history, procedures, bonding exercises etc. Everything for the most part had been fine. I was prepared for this. It was not until the final ceremonies of the last night and the final morning that I felt uneasy. We were ushered into a dark room with candles and what was essentially an altar (or shrine). I exchanged glances with a fellow initiate, saying without words “What was this…?” 

 I was already there though and thought “this is just hoopla. Not a big deal.” I proceeded. We recited what we had been taught and went through the other rituals that evening and the next day.
I crossed and that was that. I felt, I now had a group of ladies I would call sisters and friends. It would be great. But there were many times I would just be left with feelings of disappointment.

In hindsight, I am not surprised, after all, trust placed outside of God will always lead to disappointment. There was always one drama or another and I often felt like I did not belong, like… this was not for me. Why am I here? I shouldn’t be here.

Why is being active such a difficult task?
It was always a battle between sorority activities and church. It wasn’t easy. Our chapter meetings were held on Sundays and I would either have to miss it or be late (which was its own thing) because the timing was smack in the middle of church service. I would leave church as early as reasonably possible (in my mind) and head to the meeting. There were times I felt like I was having fun but something would always pull me away. I shouldn’t be here and for me, it was just not working.

I remember attending the regional conference weekend and Sunday was supposed to be a worship service. I thought, even though I am missing my church service at least I’ll get to worship God AND be active. Wrong. I felt so uneasy as the sermon was nothing more than a motivational speech. The Bible was not referenced a single time. My pastor often says that if anything he says does not align with the Bible then we should trash it. With all that I heard, I knew what it was. I left as early as I could in hopes to still make it to my church back in Baltimore.

Another moment in time that stuck out to me was the day we were all on campus for our initiation anniversary (We called it our AKAversary) I wanted to take a picture with the mural of the AKA shield as the backdrop. It was painted on an elevated surface under the MSU bridge. I put my foot up on it in a pose and was immediately corrected that the shield should never be below me. I was taken aback and I could never forget.

In hindsight, I now know that I when I became an AKA, I had pledged my allegiance (i.e. made a covenant) to an idol (false god) and the expectation was to either place myself below (bow, submit, serve) or along side (be in agreement) with, but never above.

However…
Psalms 135:15-18 says The idols of the nations are silver and gold, made by human hands. They have mouths, but cannot speak, eyes, but cannot see. They have ears, but cannot hear, nor is there breath in their mouths. Those who make them will be like them, and so will all who trust in them.

So if, the sorority was not of God, then it indeed was an idol/false god and essentially worthless and the problem with that experience is in direct violation of the authority I had as a true child of God.

What is that authority?

Psalms 91:13  God tells me that because I made THE MOST HIGH my refuge and my dwelling place “I shall TREAD upon the lion and the cobra, The young lion and the serpent shall I TRAMPLE UNDERFOOT”.

Luke 10:19 says  that God has “…given you [i.e. me]  authority to TRAMPLE on snakes and scorpions and to OVERCOME all the power of the enemy; nothing will harm you.”

There were other instances, where things didn’t feel right but in those moments I chalked it up to being an introvert or not having time. I believe now it was God.

After graduation, I let my membership go inactive and though I connected with a former linesister here or there I was not a participant. At times, when I felt alone, I would consider reactivating to get involved and connect with others but I never went through with it. Thank God.

In April 2023, I came across a Youtube video with Minister Kevin LA Ewing and Prophetess Tiphani Montgomery. They were discussing covenants/altars, the spiritual implications of them and how the demons that back them manifest in our physical lives. I knew the issues I had been dealing with for the longest time and I could also see some of the things they talked about manifesting in the lives of other ladies I pledged with. I felt God pulling at me… He had been pulling at me for a while and I prayed a few times, but this was different. I went down a rabbit hole of teachings/ministrations, following along with the scriptures because without scripture it’s trash. The more I learned, the more I could clearly hear what God was saying. I was convicted, If I was the bride and Christ was the groom, I was a cheat. I was unequally yoked but God in His mercy opened my eyes.

But I’m no longer active. Isn’t that enough?
In my learning, I now also understood that though I was no longer an active participant, God is a respecter of covenants (and rules) and though I professed Christ, there was still an access point the enemy/satan had in my life (and bloodline) that needed to be removed (forever). With this understanding, I prayed, I repented, I rejected and I renounced. Through out last year, I trashed every bit of paraphernalia I could locate or come across. I deleted pictures that I had access to. I thought I was done. God kept pressing on me that I wasn’t done. I dug deeper into what I needed to do. Earlier this year (2024), I took the next step of officiality, mailing a formal (notarized) letter to the sorority headquarters. Why? Because when God says do something, you have to do it in totality. You went in formally. You have to come out formally.

That finally brings me to today… In obedience to God, where I publicly denounce any and every association I have had with the Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority. I am sorry to everyone I ever lead astray during my time in the organization through my participation, encouragement to join, involvement in other initiations and even in my silence. I pray that just as God pulled me out (Delivered!!!), you will lean into Him and let Him pull you out too.

With boldness, I reiterate that there is only one true living God and that He is Lord of all.  I will serve Him, not man or any idol (Matthew 6:24). Jesus is the only way to God the Father (salvation) and if you are in or were ever associated with a sorority or fraternity, I encourage you to do the work and see what God really says about all of this. As a follower of Christ think about the words you spoke during your initiation process, the songs, chants, poems. Everything. Analyze them and hold them up to what God says in His Living Word. The BIBLE.

I am thankful to God for giving many others the courage, boldness and grace to share their testimonies and put together a plethora of resources to help others who were like me (hanging on the outskirts in ignorance) and those who are in deep. I’ve added links to videos and sites that helped me below:

• www.outfromamongthem.com (This site is awesome and covers so much | Scriptures, Testimonies, Steps to renounce/denounce)
• Youtube Videos: 
  • https://www.youtube.com/live/45MsjfKTPEs?si=8lXFgHs3ztTMZDRm | THE ART OF WAR: PROTOCOLS TO BREAKING THE CURSE WITH PROPHETESS TIPHANI AND MINISTER KEVIN LA EWING
  • https://youtu.be/1OPDccgIwNM?si=YLQbEQPXtmht09He RITUALS EXPOSED! | GOD SAID EXPOSE THE DIVINE NINE! | IDOLATRY IN BLACK SORORITIES AND FRATERNITIES
    

Thank you for your time and attention. I pray for understanding where needed.
I hope that my next post will be of a much lighter note and we can connect again soon.

Dueces,
Mikki

Blogging is hard. Starting (or in this case, restarting) has been harder. There is this constant need for everything to be perfect. The right day, time – gotta make sure I hit the algorithm just right. The right photos, the right title. Everything has to be perfect.

I am not an anxious person (by God’s grace)… but here is where I found myself.

Last night (10/16/23), I was trying to get the security certificate enabled and almost lost my site. I almost (re:almost) welcomed it, as it would be another reason to push this further out. but then of course I would lose so much history. It was ironically comical. With a flick of a toggle. Everything became a 404 error. I had been winging. I had no back-up (careless, I know). I prayed because only God could help me now. At 11:37pm I called the support desk (they close at midnight). I spoke to a woman with an accent. At first, I had little faith, as I thought maybe she would take me through the basic help desk prompts that I knew could not resolve the issue. But after finding my account and listening to me explain the issue and the steps that got me there she said “hold on and let me look into”. I was on hold for maybe 5-10mins and every few mins she would check back in to let me know she was still there. I could hear a young child in the background. This woman was likely a mom, like me. Burning oil and getting the work done. Trying to remain calm as her child had found their way through a door she thought was locked.

A few more moments of silence and she came back to tell me… “the issue was resolved. Check back in 4-8hrs for everything to be online again.” I laughed, I internally rejoiced. I was tired though. sigh.

She asked if I would complete a survey. I said absolutely.

Rated her all 10s and went to bed… This issue was above me now.

It wasn’t until mid morning when I checked on the site with my phone but to God’s glory. Boom! Running up, running and secured!

Back to this moment. Right now, October 17th at 10:44pm. I was working on some other things on the site. Unrelated to actual writing and I found myself dozing off and yet getting distracted by the other bazillion things I need to do. I said to myself, “Self? Who are you deceiving? Go to bed.” I closed my laptop, brushed my teeth and got nestled under the covers. I could not rest.

Throwing off my sheets, I grabbed my laptop and began to type.

It’s exhilarating, allowing the words to flow through my finger tips. Caring but not really that it’s probably full of typos but what’s more important is being obedient to what God has called me to do.

So with this I say a sweet…

Hello. Good nighty and See you soon.

Sleepily,
Mikki

In the wake of the Coronavirus 19 pandemic -Many private and public sector companies have made the decision to allow (and in some cases mandate) that their employees work remotely. 

This is a miracle for some that enjoy working remotely and an adventure for those that have never done it before with kids.

My first post discussed working from home in general but now I want to focus on working remotely when you have little ones with you:

Here are some ways to be successful while working remotely, if your child(ren) has to stay home too. The beauty in these tips, they are straight forward:

Get Prepared!

Buy and PREP meals and snacks ahead of time. Hungry kids are cranky kids and there is a huge chance that you won’t have a great amount of time to prepare 2-3 meals from scratch, while you are on the clock. Spend time, the day or weekend before, to stock up on healthy, low sugar snacks e.g. String cheese, fruits and veggies with dipping sauce, fruit snacks, crackers and chips. Create a meal plan for the week so you know when to serve what and how much you actually need.

TIP: Prep meals into separate containers so that you can heat and serve with ease.

Discuss the need for flexibility with your supervisor. Little humans, especially the tiny variety, can be a bit unpredictable. So letting your immediate supervisor (and your team if be) know that there may be brief spurts of time where you have to step away to change diapers, give lunch or put someone down for a nap will arise and does not mean you are not slacking. (this is mainly if the kids will need to be home too). This also helps while caring for a loved one who is ill.

Put your child(ren) on a schedule. I have found that young kids thrive on a schedule. Create a chart that works for you all and stick to it. A great starting point is following what they already do in school i.e lunch and nap times. 

Plan your schedule along with your kids’ schedule. eg having your conference call after their meal or during naptime would reduce noise (use your breaks to care for them).

Tag team with your spouse/partner. One person can care for them in the morning while you work and then in the afternoon, switch roles. Hubs and I have done this and it works when you are on the same page.

Nap time is the best time for that conference call (in another room of course). Draw the curtains and play soothing nature sounds (e.g. rain falling) while they nap. I learned this from my son’s daycare and he can nap for hours if I let him. 

Keep them occupied with engaging activities, quality/age appropriate programming (don’t let youtube autoplay be your default).  This is important because engaged kids are happy and quiet kids. Have a set of building blocks, activity books, games and crafts that they can use only during work hours. This way there is something for them to look forward to. You can have instruments for music time, books for story time and play sand or paint and paper for art time. 

Be flexible. Sometimes kids will just be kids and they will decide that they don’t want chicken nuggets or to lie down for a nap. The most important thing is to be flexible with them. Some toddlers are independent and want to make decisions for themselves so if you have one of those give them 1-2 options to choose from and they will be much more cooperative.

If you made it to the end, you are a real one! I hope these help you or someone you know who needs this. Just remember to do what works best for you and your household and be flexible. I’ve also written a post on championing working from home on your own here.

Love & Laughter,

Mikki

In the wake of the Coronavirus 19 pandemic – Yes it has been declared a pandemic – and yes I said “in the wake of” – Many private and public sector companies are making the decision to allow (and in some cases, mandate) that their employees work remotely. 

This is a miracle for some that enjoy working remotely, an adventure for those that have never done it before AND a nightmare for those that hate it. 

Seeing as this may go on for the next few weeks, today’s post is for the latter  two. If you don’t absolutely enjoy working from home, here is how you can make it work. I want to specifically discuss working from home when you have a baby or toddler (in my case, I have both), in a separate post. 

Get Prepared!

Before you leave the office here is what you can do:

1. Print off any important documents you might need to review. I’m lucky enough to have a printer at home but ink is expensive, and sometimes… it just doesn’t work. I don’t want to be caught off guard. 
2. Have everything you need to successfully do your job virtually. This means confirming: 
   • you are able to connect (login)  to your company VPN, network, domain, sharepoint etc. 
   • Your passwords and access certificates are up to date. 
   • You have your laptop chargers (both pieces if it applies), docking station, second monitor and additional cables, FOBS (2F-authentication) and PIV cards with you when you leave.
   • If any of the above are not up to par, now is the time to visit/call your IT support and obtain replacements.

Set yourself up for success (The night before): 

1. Pick your workspace carefully. If you don’t have a dedicated home office, pick a space where you will be able to spread out sufficiently. This goes without saying that you need space if you use a second monitor. Tip: If you will be using video conferencing, be mindful of your immediate background. The dedicated space should be free from clutter, distracting objects and personal effects that would be deemed inappropriate to have in your actual office. 
2. Choose an area that’s functional for meetings/calls. I have my station set up next to a bright sunny window to keep me motivated and upbeat. There is also a functioning door when I need to take a call and my son decides that he wants to sing along to his favorite songs.  Try not to sit near high traffic areas where people will be walking behind you often. 
3. Set things up the night before so that you can troubleshoot any connectivity or power issues. Nothing is worse than joining a meeting or logging in late because your conferencing software or Operating system needed an update. #LessonsLearned
4. Have a game plan with your partner. Let’s say there is limited space and both you and your partner have to work from home. On a good day, that means sitting next to each other doing your work and sharing a laugh or two. On a hectic day, that means, two sets of meetings, phone calls and the need for thinking space. If you only have one office, that can be a recipe for disaster. The best thing to do would be to take some time to discuss your work calendars and create a plan as to how to maximise the space and make the environment conducive for everyone. E.g. Hubs and I once had to work from home together and both had virtual meetings scheduled for the same time. Through open communication, we were able to determine each other’s needs for our meetings. Hubs needed the double monitor and a closed door because he would be speaking and sharing his screen. While I took my meeting in the bedroom as I did not have much of a presenter role in this particular instance. In the afternoon, we switched places.

Tip: turn on your front facing camera (horizontal mode) and  take a picture of yourself sitting at your laptop. Use the picture as a guide to determine what needs to be moved. E.g.  the big box of pull ups on the bookshelf to your left. 

How to Champion Your Remote Day 

1. Wake up early and set your morning routine. Just because you are working from home does not mean you should throw your routines to the wind. Having a routine will help you to stay on track and focus. Wake up, shower, do some light make up (especially if you are video conferencing) and dress appropriately. Use your saved commute time to enjoy your cup of coffee, get the kids ready and settle in.
2. Look the part. Say No to Pajama wear.  I get it. It’s quite tempting to wear your pajamas all day. I am guilty of this once in a while but when working remotely for an extended period the saying “when you look good, you feel good” truly applies. On my remote days you can typically find me in my uniform. A comfy striped long sleeve or denim collared shirt and tailored leggings/joggers. I top it off with a cozy cardigan or long line vest with pockets for a more polished but cozy comfy look. Dressing this way tells my mind and body that it is time to work and not sleep. It also allows me to look presentable if I need to make a mad dash to the office for something or pick up lunch. (Find items I have in my closet at the end of this post)
3. Take Breaks. Sometimes, we can become so wrapped up in the tasks for the day that we sit for hours at a time leading to eye and body fatigue and boredom. Prevent this by taking frequent 5-10 min breaks where you actually stand and walk away from your computer. Stretch your body, walk to the mailbox, use the bathroom or grab a snack/drink. This will keep your energy and spirits up. 
4. Set Boundaries. Because you are remote. It’s also easy to over work yourself. As tempting as it may be, and as long as there is no emergency, once you have worked your hours, LOG OUT. Let’s say your core hours are 9-5. Once it’s 6pm step away from your laptop and enjoy your home life. Don’t feel pressured to stay online. Everyone’s home situation is different.  You need to maintain a healthy work-life balance and it’s hard when your work is being done within your home. Note: Here is my exception to the rule. In my next post, I talk about discussing the need for flexibility with your supervisor. Having to step away to care for your child(red) or ill relative is time away from your work so in fairness be flexible enough to answer an email or complete tasks after hours if needed. I recently spoke with a colleague who said “He hires adults’ “. True adults are responsible and know how to prioritize and accomplish their tasks (successfully). Adults communicate effectively when or if they need help and BEFORE “the kitchen burns down”.  You are being paid to complete a task so it is your responsibility to complete it. 
5. Communicate Effectively – depending on the nature of your role, and especially if you work in teams, effective communication is going to play a vital role in your remote office success. The greatness that is technology allows us to communicate as quickly as if we were in the same room, but with so many tools at our disposal it can become overwhelming. Imagine receiving an IM, email, app alert and phone call all about the same thing and from multiple people. Yikes! Effective communication means using your best judgement  (and rules of etiquette) to know when an email (with all the important details), a phone call or a brief conference call will work best. Cheat sheet – most likely your skype is hooked up to your outlook account so it is possible to look up older conversations if needed. 

TIP: when sending an IM/Slack/Skype/Team message… 1. Keep it professional and 2. Compose your whole message before hitting send. That way your colleague is not receiving multiple alerts and waiting for you to ask your “quick question”

If you made it to the end, you are a real one! I hope these help you or someone you know who needs this. Just remember to do what works best for you and your household and be flexible. Though I’ve included some kid friendly tips here, check back later for my second post on working from home with your little ones. (Link will be updated here)

Love & Laughter,

Mikki

Shop my WFH staples…