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Ok. I know it has been a long time coming but today, I am finally ready to go into the details of my wedding.  Ha!

On April 19th, 2015, my now husband proposed (Watch the proposal video here). Of course I said yes or I wouldn’t be writing this right now. Lol. In the western world, I was officially someone’s fiance but to my parents. It was more like a promise ring. My dad hilariously calls the proposal a “program”. I was not yet engaged. There first had to be an introduction of the families. Let me explain:

Though I was born and raised in the United States, I am Nigerian by birth/heritage. First generation, I might add, but that’s a story for another day. To go a little deeper, my family is Yoruba by tribe.  In the Yoruba culture (I believe it is similar in other tribes) a girl does not become officially engaged/betrothed until the grooms family comes to introduce themselves and ask for the bride’s hand. This ceremony can be as simple or as elaborate as you want it. It is usually reserved for the families of both sides and close family friends but I also wanted our bridal party present (they are pretty much considered family too).

Planning cultural ceremonies can sometimes be a challenge. Particularly when it is the first time you have to do it. It’s not just a birthday party where you can wing it and do what you want. Each family/tribe/region have their own unique styles and ceremony requirements and it is very important to follow them. 

Location:

The hardest part about planning the introduction was the location. I love natural light and felt that any location I used had to have as much light as possible. I was lucky to find a nice place in laurel. Not just a nice place, a lake house with a fireplace and so much natural light.  Let me just throw out the fact that it was the end of March. Brrr

FYI- this event is hosted by the bride’s family and holds in the Parent’s house. If your parents are divorced (like mine) it might be easier to hold the Introduction in a neutral location e.g. close family friend’s house, restaurant, event hall or lake-house (lol).

Food:

Since it was a cultural event, the food was always going to be Nigerian cuisine. We kept it simple with Jollof rice, Iyan (pounded yam), Efo (Kale), Chicken, fish and drinks.

FYI: Don’t put this off and know your limits. If you are short on time, patience, energy or cooking ability, it is best to cater.  But if your mom (or aunties) can throw down in the kitchen go ahead.  Whatever you decide, keep it simple.  We did a mixture of both, I cooked some e.g. the fish and Efo while I catered out the heavy stuff like rice.

Guests:

The Introduction is usually limited to close family and friends. I have seen some introductions as elaborate as weddings (Wowza).  The size of your list can drive everything from size of venue to amount spent on food. But always know who your key guests are. This is a time for the two families to meet. That means parents, siblings obviously. Then move on to very close aunts and uncles.  This can also include those adults who were instrumental in your life journey e.g. God parents, mentors etc. My venue held 40 so I kept it small and intimate.

Attire:

Quite literally, you could wear anything you want but remember this is the family’s first official impression of you.They will pretend as if they have never met you before. Ha!  We chose to go modern traditional. Hubs wore a short sleeve buba & Sokoto (top & pants) and agbada (boubou) made from dry lace.  I wore a peplum dress with off shoulder details made from Cord lace. I love dressing as a couple so we went with matching colors -Ivory, red and Gold.

Hospitality:

In my culture, it is customary for the families to exchange a gift. It is a sign of friendship, acceptance and hospitality. We exchanged baskets. Often times the contents of the basket are used for prayer points. e.g. May the couples marriage be as sweet as this sugar (or honey). May their children be plentiful as this bunch of grapes etc.

FYI: you can make the basket as big or as small as you want. If you are short on time or not so creative, visit a gift shop where you can buy a pre-made basket or order a custom one. I made my own baskets with cute baskets from Michaels and some really nice fruit and goodies from Trader Joes.

Décor (optional):

Because we were not using either of my parents homes, it was important for the place to look pretty and warm. I ordered linens and tried to keep centerpieces simple, fresh and elegant. Everything was assembled across 8 tables in less than 20mins. (Video to follow this post)

Program:

This is entirely dependent on your culture and customs. For our day, we had an Alaga (MC) who represented both families and coordinated the program. She introduced the families by name, called in the groom-to-be, then ushered in the bride.

FYI: It is best to use someone who is either familiar with your family or the customs and traditions of each family side. In modern times, you could have a close relative from each side speak for the families. Helps if the person is funny or as Nigerians would say “lively”.

The program can take anywhere from 30mins to an hour. Sometimes longer if your MC is long winded *cough*. After that it is all food, pictures and merriment. 

PART 2 — Stay tuned for part 2 which will include a video (YAY)

Happy Monday!!

I am super grateful for another week and guess what. I’m actually writing this post in real time. Ha! The weekend was so busy and I feel like after the lump of work I have to do today. I should be home free. 

Without blabbling on let’s get into today’s post. 🙂

Last night, and pretty much the entire weekend, I used my precious downtime to watch recaps of the major Olympic events I couldn’t watch Live. I was in awe of the athletes (especially those of color) that were “doing-the-dang-thing”.  My favorites were Usain Bolt (of course), Simone Biles, Mo Farrah and Michael Phelps (That’s my Bmore homie).  Other great notables were Serena Williams (that woman is powerful),  Ben Youssef Meite, and the Brazillian woman’s soccer team. Don’t get me wrong, I am definitely #TEAMUSA but that does not stop admiration of the others. Not.At.All. 

These Athletes sacrifice so much of their time and resources (physical and financial)  training all for a moment that only comes once in four years. Granted, they compete in other events but we are focusing on the Olympics.  The drive to be stronger, better, faster, smarter (these sports take up a lot of mental energy too), is like none other.  I can barely motivate myself to get out of bed in the mornings, not to talk of being in a pool or on the gymnastics mat for upwards of 10hrs a day. I digress…

There is definitely something to be learned from them and I will list them in no particular order. 

1.  Michael Phelps – Focus on your swim.

Don’t focus on others. I think the biggest controversy around MP this Olympics was his race with Chad Le Clos. There is a viral image taken during the Men’s 200m Butterfly, moments before MP wins the race, where Le Clos is turning his head to see where MP was in the race.  In my mind, all I know is that MP was focused on touching that wall. Who knows… Maybe Le Clos could have won if he wasn’t so focused on MP. So focused on his opponent that he finished 4th! Not to throw him under the bus but come on!! Anyway my friends…. Stay Focused. Know your goals and work to achieve them. Don’t be so concerned with what everyone else is doing or saying. 

2. Mo Farrah – If you fail (or falter), KEEP GOING.

Mo Farrah was pretty much predicted to win the Men’s 10k Race but guess what happened in the early leg… He Fell. That’s right, he tripped, fell and the other runners just jumped over him and kept running. Ha!  Had it been anyone else, they would have stopped running or even if they continued- would’ve been shaken up for the entire race. Not MF!! No sir, Mr. Farrah got up, shook it off and brought home the Gold for Great Britain.  He knew he could do it, he believed in himself and even after a mistake(accident) like that, he pushed himself and came out triumphant. 

3. Simone Biles – Don’t care about your past

Simone was abandoned as a child but with the love of her adoptive parents, she over came that. She didn’t let it weigh her down and SB brought home not 1 but 3 Gold medals (at the time of this post) for all her efforts. Heck, she even has a move named after her. Far to many times, I see people using their past as an excuse for their future. It’s really sad, especially when their future has so much potential. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not easy getting over the hurt. It is a lot easier to stay in the funk and curse the world but it is never, ever, worth it. The past is in the past. Make your future (and your week) great. 

 I have so much more to write on my favorite Olympians but I think I have held up your time long enough.

As you start a new week, Take the above tips and run with it!!!  

(Haha..that was a very poor pun but you get the Idea)

Have a great Monday!

– Mikki

This trip was a little over 4 years ago and a lot has changed since then but I doesn’t hurt to…

Wanderlust. 

I had already been to Puerto Rico twice but this trip was different. It was planned purely for fun. A Birthday/Graduation present to myself. 

We stayed at La Concha Renaissance Hotel (Apart from the resort fee, I loved it)

The Food was awesome…

We visited the Cathedral of San Juan Bautista

And walked the colorful streets of Old San Juan 

I love to travel and can’t wait until the next flight out. 

What interesting places have you visited (or plan to visit) this year?